JOEY’S
SCRAPPERS DOG BLOG
FEBRUARY 2012
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Since it’s the month of amore I requested that management let me hold my crafty class on the 14th as I’m in the mood for a little “lovey dovey” attention. Ooh...la...la… They agreed; only just to keep me from pestering them.
The ad went up and the class was booked up before the day was out. I checked to see who was registered and found a lot of my regulars, including one in particular, a recently widowed crafty gal I wanted to see again. Wow…. I’m off to a good start this year.
Seeing there was romance in the air I decided to freely apply my favorite man cologne, “Sweet Nothings”, which is guaranteed (supposedly) to win the gals over. Time will tell in about an hour.
Drenched in my cologne I personally greeted each crafter with a red rose and a quick hug so I could share my intoxicating fragrance. Unfortunately it wasn’t well received as everyone came down with a sneezing spell. Foiled again!
Once the sneezing session was over the class commenced with the exception of Perla the lone pittie who was still in sniffling, sneezing mode! How irritating… Since we are of the same breed I approached her cautiously with a large box of tissues and she thankfully took the hint; move to another table or else!
We were progressing well between a few more minor irritations; the sniffling Perla, who was moving in slow motion between her dripping snout; my ex favorite crafty widow who was the most irritating of all with her non-stop snout blowing and finally the upside down card crafters (even a novice like me couldn’t do that… or could I?). I solved the irritations “tout sweet” especially with the wrong side up crafters by removing the front of the card away from the back and attaching to another piece of card stock. The end result looked quite nice if I do say so! The crafters opinions didn’t matter.
With everyone finished and since it was Valentine’s Day, I brought out some heart shaped doggie chews and pink fizz drinks for everyone to enjoy. And enjoy we did; we actually had a crunch-a-thon with the winner being presented with a large decorated Valentine box of hand made liqueur chews and a smooch from me! And… the winner was that irritating pit bull, Perla. Just typical of my luck… I presented her with the Valentine box and then it was time for a quick smooch which I had to do between her sniffles. Our pittie lips met and then it was over (thankfully) except for my intoxicating cologne (I sprayed more on my bod, on purpose…) which started another round of sneezing for Ms. Perla. Revenge is so sweet…. don’t you think!
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JANUARY 2012
Happy New Year my crafty friends!
Since I’m well rested, except for the non-stop parties, I’ve decided to start off the year by using the new Calibur machine for my first card class of 2012. I understand it’s not hard to operate and if this pittie can use it (with the aid of an instruction book) – the crafters can as well.
The day of my class arrived and I was late rising so it was rush, rush… My pittie nerves were then on edge so I decided to have a quick nip of my favourite canine liqueur. It tasted so good I decided to have another and then the hiccups started and wouldn’t stop. I tried holding my breath but nothing helped so this hiccupping pittie was in panic mode as I had to get to the store before the crafters arrived.
I arrived at the store, hiccups and all, in good time and was able to set everything up before my class started. The crafty gals soon arrived and they were quite impressed as I greeted them all individually with a hiccup!
To begin, I explained, between hiccups, that we’d be using the Grand Calibur machine for our first card. The class appeared to be puzzled and I wondered why. Had they not heard about this machine or did I pronounce it wrongly? I soon found out it was the latter. Oh well…. we pitties are not known for their expertise of the English language. Truthfully, I prefer only the pittie language!
Now that everyone was settled, I prepared to demonstrate the Grand Calibur for the first card. Since I wasn’t too familiar with it I encouraged a class member to assist me so I wouldn’t look like the hiccupping idiot I was beginning to feel like. Bella the Basset offered, and then took charge, with me being relegated to the background. No doubt she’ll demand a full refund at the end of class to compensate herself for being the machine expert, she thinks she is…
Once everyone finished using the Grand Calibur I resumed my place as the “hiccupping” head honcho of my crafty class until ”diva” Bella piped up that she would handle until I could compose myself. I reluctantly agreed.
After holding my breath many times the hiccups finally stopped and I returned to my welcoming group, as they weren’t very happy with Bella the “bossy” instructor. Although Bella had finished the first card and was onto the second it was her non-charming personality that was the downfall. It only proves that no breed can outshine me when dealing with crafty ladies! I have to admit it’s my gorgeous golden “bedroom eyes” that gets to them…. I think!
The class ended on a happy note with me promising to get more experience …. on the Grand Calibur machine that is! I promised I would…
JOEY’S
SCRAPPERS DOG BLOG
DECEMBER 2011
For my December class I decided to get into the seasonal mood by wearing a Santa Claus outfit. Just call me “Santa Baby”… Apart from the difficulty in locating an outlet that catered mainly to my breed the time spent was quite rewarding as I found just what I was looking for, an XL outfit. Don’t be alarmed at the size as the crafty crafters are to blame since I can’t keep my paws away from all those delicious home made goodies brought to class after the loss of my beloved Dena.
In appreciation, I planned on giving everyone a small gift and checked with management for some ideas. One in particular caught my canine eye, “class leftover bags”! What a saving. Of course my class won’t know that. Just call me a “cheapo pittie”!
On class day I greeted everyone wearing my Santa Claus outfit which proved to be very rewarding as I was the recipient of many little canine pecks on the cheek. Ooh…la…la…
Once everyone was settled I delivered my preamble on the do’s and don’ts. To my surprise one crafter had a question which wasn’t crafty related so I answered to the best of my pittie ability. I think… She wanted to know if the snap lock on the Ziploc bag holding her card materials could be recycled. My response was yes not knowing if it was or wasn’t as this pittie doesn’t have time for such petty issues.
With the recycle issue over the class resumed with their Santa Claus cards. I chose that particular card as it was less time consuming and… I wanted time to present each crafter with a gift before they departed. There’s always a method to my madness!
Everyone finished in good time and as I prepared to hand out my gifts the Ziploc crafter barked up again, this time about recycling the leftover scrap paper. In my usual flippant manner I told her everything was recycled and if she didn’t “zip” her snout she’d be included with that recycling! My remark didn’t go over well as she immediately marched off to management to make a complaint.
Shortly thereafter management beckoned me over to say we’d have a little discussion about this incident after the class. Now I know how my beloved felt at times; “defeated”.
I then returned to my class to distribute their gifts. Everyone was quite excited when I encouraged them to take turns sitting on my lap when they received their gift bags. After many Christmas smooches (ooh..la..la..) my class departed; all smiles and chuckles with the exception of the Ziploc crafter who departed earlier. Thankfully!
Now it was my turn to see management, who then escorted me into the back room for a little talk. Once seated, I nervously tried to explain but was told to keep quiet in no uncertain terms… as they just wanted me to relax and enjoy a non-alcoholic (we’re driving) seasonal drink with them. After many laughs I was informed they were extending my contract another year as there’s always an increase in sales the day my class is scheduled. Wowee! I must be quite a magnet to the girlies, is all I could bark! They wholeheartedly agreed… We all drank to that!
HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
& HAPPY NEW YEAR